Tsukune's Harem as the Mane Six
by Villain84
Summary: Moka and the girls are talking about My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, and compare themselves to the Mane Six. Featuring some Soul Calibur characters and briefly mentions The Dark Knight Rises, but no spoilers. Long Drabble. Slight Crack. Rated T to be safe. Not for Brony haters.


In a coffee shop in the monster world somewhere, Moka, Kurumu, Yukari, Mizore, Ruby, and Kokoa all sat at a large round table, each sipping coffee. Not really having anything better to talk about, they were busy discussing _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_. At one point, Yukari brought up a new thought.

"Hey, guys," She piped up, "I was thinking. You know how there are six of us?"

"Yeah," Moka nodded. "What about it?"

"Well, suppose _we_ were the Mane Six. Who would be who?"

Everyone's eyes lit up and they smiled at that silly idea. Kurumu was the first to voice hers. "Well, one thing's for sure," She smirked. She eyed Mizore. "Mizore, you're Fluttershy, no question!"

"Oh, yeah!" Kokoa nodded. "She's _so_ Fluttershy! She's so quiet and shy and isolated..."

Mizore sipped her iced coffee one more time before answering. "Well, I can't really argue with that," she shrugged. "I mean I AMall of that." And then a small smile spread across her face as another throught came to her. "And also, Fluttershy is Andrew's favorite pony, just like I'm his favorite girl on this series."

Everyone glared at her for that comment before Ruby spoke up.

"Andrew's favorite girls here are a toss-up between you AND me!" She snapped angrily, but she quickly calmed down and recomposed herself, and continued more cheerfully. "And his favorite ponies are a toss-up between Fluttershy AND Rarity."

"That's right," Moka nodded.

Yukari shook her head. "Well, Ruby, I don't think you're Rarity. I... I just- I just can't really see you like that."

Ruby nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I don't really think she's my type either."

"If you ask me," Kurumu laughed, "I say _Kokoa_ is Rarity!" She jabbed her finger across the table at Kokoa.

Kokoa's eyes lit up in shock, and then turned to anger. "I can NOT be Rarity!" She snapped. She banged her fist on the table, making her juice shake. "She's so girly and dainty and classy, and-"

"-and whiney, and full of herself," Kurumu interrupted, "walking around thinking she's better than everyone else, always trying to make things go HER way."

"Yep, that's you alright!" Yukari nodded.

Kokoa bared her teeth. Steam was coming out of her ears.

"Relax, Kokoa," Moka smiled at her sister. "We're just playing around here."

"Even if there is some truth in it all," Mizore smirked.

"Am I really that whiney?" Kokoa asked with a sad face.

"Oneee-Sammaaaaa!" Kurumu squealed, mimicking Kokoa. Everyone laughed at her imitation. Of course, this only made Kokoa look even more annoyed.

Ruby spoke up next. "So, who's Rainbow Dash then?"

Everyone paused and thought for a moment.

Finally, Kokoa answered. "I think it's Kurumu!"

Everyone turned to her. "What makes ya say that?" Yukari asked.

"That actually makes sense," Ruby nodded. "I mean, they're both assertive, confident, kind of tomboyish,"

"-loud, overconfident," Mizore added.

"Hey! You really think I'm all that?" Kurumu snapped.

Everyone chuckled. "Well, yeah, of course!" Kokoa giggled.

Kurumu boiled up for a minute, then took a deep breath and let it go. "Well, I always did think Rainbow was kinda cool."

"You know," Yukari added, "If Kurumu is Rainbow Dash, then I must be Pinkie Pie!"

"How do you figure that?" Mizore asked.

"Well, it's just that Rainbow and Pinkie are always hanging out, you know? And me and Kurumu are like sisters, always arguing with each other, ya know?"

"I think Pinkie is perfect for you, Yukari," Kurumu added. "Silly, childish, immature, happy-go-lucky-"

"Quit sounding so negative about it," Moka grunted. "Pinkie's cool. She's always helping the gang see the bright side of things."

"And she's probably the funniest," Kokoa smirked.

Everyone chuckled and took another sip of their drinks before Moka broke the short silence. "So that just leaves Apple Jack and Twilight Sparkle for me and Ruby."

"I reckon if I speak in this 'ere western accent," Ruby said in a cowgirl's accent, "I very-well could pass for Apple Jack."

"I don't know," Yukari scratched her head. "This one's kind of tough. I don't really think either of them match either of you that much."

"Yeah, but that's all we got," Mizore whispered. "It will have to do."

"If you ask me," Kokoa interjected, "my big sister should be Twilight!"

"Why?" Ruby asked.

"Because she's the main character besides Tskune."

"That actually does kind of fit Moka more than Apple Jack," Mizore added. "I mean early on, Moka, like Twilight, had trouble fitting in with others, right?"

Moka looked down at her latte, feeling embarrassed as she remembered those days. "Yeah, I guess."

"And they actually are kind of awkward at times now, aren't they?" Kurumu added.

"Alright then," Yukari nodded. "Now if Ruby was a little more hard-working, she could pass for Apple Jack."

"But I AM hard-working," Ruby pouted. "Oh, I mean... 'I done reckon I am hard-workin'!"

Everyone laughed at her accent again. "So I guess we know which pony we all are," Moka chuckled. They each took another sip of their drinks and sat for a few moments in silence.

Finally, Yukari spoke up. "Hey, does it disturb you guys that there are guys out there that actually want to screw these ponies?"

"Oh, my God!" Mizore shook her head. "Don't remind me of THEM!"

"Yeah, seriously!" Kurumu nodded. "Those kinds of bronies are more disturbing than furries!"

"Well, at least Andrew's not like that," Moka smiled.

"Yeah, he's about as clean as bronies can be!" Ruby nodded before sipping her coffee again.

"I don't know what goes on in his mind," Kurumu added, "But at least his fanfics are clean."

"Yep, thank God for that." Yukari raised her juice and sipped again.

"So we know which of the main six we are," Moka continued. "So what does that make Tskune?"

Mizore shrugged. "I don't know. Spike I guess."

"Actually, Tskune is kind of like Spike," Ruby added. "They're the poor little guys who always get beat up."

"Ain't that the truth?" Kokoa chuckled.

"And who's Gin?" Yukari asked. "Big Macintosh?"

"I guess that's the closest we can get," Kurumu replied.

"And you know what?" Moka spoke up, "In some ways, Ms. Nekonome is kind of like Princess Celestia."

Everyone got a little chuckled out of that.

"Who do you suppose Fang-Fang would be?" Yukari asked.

"Well, remember, we're trying to stick to what we know from the anime here," Ruby answered.

"Hey, here's a question," Kokoa asked. "Which villain is better, Discord or Queen Chrysalis?"

"Oh, Discord!"

"Discord, no contest!"

"Discord, hands down!"

"Why is that even a question?"

"Really, they should have another episode with Discord!"

"But granted, Chrysalis was pretty cool, too."

And that was when the door to the coffee shop swung open and hit the wall with a bang, and all eyes in the shop turned to the newcomers.

In came a young lady with pale skin, black hair, and slutty leather armor, carrying a ring blade. At her sides was a thin pale man with equally revealing armor and a large muscly man carrying an ax.

"Oh, crap," Mizore muttered. "It's Tira."

"Voldo!" Tira commanded. "Get us three chai teas to go!" She did not sound happy. Clearly her gloomy self was out today.

"Oh, put cream in mine, will ya?"Astaroth asked happily.

Voldo nodded with a hiss, and then cartwheeled over to the desk to get the orders.

Tira and Astaroth headed towards the girls' table.

"Hey, you guys!" Tira hissed bitterly.

"Hi, Tira," Moka said, forcing a smile. "Great to see you here. Lovely day, isn't it?"

"What do you want?" Kurumu asked bitterly.

"Nightmare wants to see all of you in his throne room right now." She replied.

"About what?" Yukari asked, already sounding scared. "What did we do wrong?"

"I don't really remember what he said," Tira grunted, scratching her head.

"And what if we don't want to go?" Kokoa hissed. "Or what if we say we're busy with things?"

"Who do you think you're talking to, young lady?" Astaroth growled. Tira put up her arm to stop him though.

"Just remember, girls," Tira snickered. "Nightmare's got Soul Edge. You don't want to evoke his wrath, do you?"

All of the girls' eyes lit up with horror at that, except Kokoa's.

"No, we don't want that," Moka replied, shaking her hands up in defense.

"What's up with this Soul Edge thing?" Kokoa asked angrily. "We haven't even seen it do anything. What's so scary about it?"

"We don't need to see it's power!" Yukari whimpered. "We've heard stories of it, and we don't want to see it for real!"

"Besides, it's a sword with an eyeball!" Ruby added. "That's freakish enough for me!"

"Oh, come on guys! That's it?" Kokoa snapped.

"Sword with an eyeball!" Mizore repeated.

"But-"

"Eyeball!" Kurumu snapped. She pointed at her own eye for emphasis.

Everyone glared at Kokoa, giving her a look that said "be quiet" like a boss. At last, Kokoa huffed just decided to go along with everyone.

"Alright, now come on!" Tira hissed as she turned and headed toward the door. Astaroth followed her. Slowly the girls all got up from their seats.

"Can we bring our drinks?" Yukari asked.

"Sure, why not?" Tira sighed.

Cheered up by this, the girls all happily grabbed their drinks and followed Astaroth out the door.

Behind them, Voldo had gotten the three teas, and headed out the door, holding them in a tray like a waiter at a fancy restaurant.

As he left, the other people in the coffee shop stared off after him trying to figure out what the Hell just happened.

Outside the shop, as the gang left, a thought came to Yukari's mind.

"You know," She whispered to the others, "The Japanese word for Nightmare is Akumu."

"Yeah, what about it?" Mizore whispered back.

"Well, it would make a pretty beastly name for an anime character, don't ya think?"

"Oh yeah." Kurumu nodded. "That would be wicked."

"It would be pretty cool if there was a character like Nightmare in our series somewhere, don't you think?" Ruby asked.

"Oh yeah," Kokoa nodded. "That would so be awesome!"

Voldo danced his way up to Tira and Astaroth at the front of the line and passed out their teas to them.

"So, maggots," Astaroth grunted back after he sipped his tea. "Who's going to see Dark Knight Rises this weekend?"

All the girls smiled and squealed at the mention of the movie.

"Hell yeah!"

"Not gonna miss this one!"

"How can you _not_ wanna see that this weekend?"

"We should all go together!"

"Yeah, and get Tskune and Gin to come too!"

"Saturday works for me!"

"Yeah, I'm not busy on Saturday."

"I can get my homework done by then!"

"Alright! Yahoo!"

"Yeah," Tira muttered. "Hope you enjoy the movie if Nightmare doesn't chop you to pieces first!"


End file.
